Surviving Hell Series 2

Here is the next post in our series about surviving bad relationships, whether the relationship is vanilla BDSM. Hopefully, seeing the stories of others will help some of you spot the trends in your own relationship and get out before it gets truly bad. Sharing the stories, even anonymously, is often cathartic for the survivor, and gives her a way to get it off her chest and gain support. Some of our survivors got out, and managed to salvage their lives, and we want to commend them for their strength and determination. But also, be aware, they did it. It … Continue reading

Contracts and Negotiations 101: The Devil in the Details

Everyone got their study hats on? Good. Last week we talked about what a BDSM, or relationship, contract actually is, and some of what it is not. This week, I thought we should hit on some of the terms that sometimes can be defined in different ways, because that’s where a contract can become the key to a fantastic relationship, or a nightmare on earth. Imagine, if you think of the word ‘discipline’ to mean ‘a denial of priveleges after one partner fails to do something both agreed upon’, but the other person thinks of ‘discipline’ to mean ‘beating the … Continue reading

Vanilla BDSM 101 (So You Want A Dom Do You? Part 2)

  As with all my posts, I do not claim to be a doctor, therapist, priest, or any other professional of that sort. All you find in the sentences below are my ‘opinion’. To be considered like toilet tissue. Use it to wipe your eyes, your ass, or plug your ears, it’s all good. I’m going to gear this post to vanilla men who are basically “decent men”. This means they’re not perfect but they’re willing to try to do what is necessary to save the family even if they don’t know what that is. The men who understand the … Continue reading

  • Note:

    I usually refer to males as the more dominant and females as the more submissive. The intention is NOT to say that ALL relationships should fit that pattern. My relationship experience is with male dominant, female submissive arrangements and that is the only sort of relationship I have firsthand knowledge about.