Ask Lucian Anything (12-14)

ask lucian 2

12/7/2014 8:04:17 Can you tell us why your message is so important? For the ones that understand why it’s important but for those who don’t, maybe you can let them know why. I for one understand why it’s so important.

Good question.

I think in short, the message is so important because families are becoming extinct.

Our society is getting so that pleasures and passions dictate our moral code of conduct, rather than our moral code of conduct dictating our pleasures and passions. We’ve become infatuated with dominance and submission and have forgotten that without a moral code of conduct by which to direct those things, we end up like animals, fullfilling our selfish appetites rather than nurturing our families. It’s not good and it’s not right. But unless we offer another way, a way that serves desires and passions while strengthening the family unit, then we’re just sitting on the sidelines and watching the circus.
12/7/2014 22:22:29 Hi Lucian. First I want to say how much you’ve helped my marriage. You’ve opened up the door to a deeper communication with my husband, and we are prayerfully embracing our roles with relief. The problem I’m having is now that my husband is being so open, he has revealed some fantasies that I’m not sure I’m comfortable with. He would like me to penetrate him and for me to take control on occasion. I don’t know if he can truly be the Dom I need if he’s asking me to pretend I have a penis, and I’m afraid if I begin this, that it may escalate into something that will make him want to leave and seek others who are better equipped and the enemy will have him in his grasp. I want to obey my husband in this, and I wouldn’t mind giving him this pleasure, but I don’t know if we can safely experiment without devolving into sin. Is it safe to indulge him on occasion?

I think it is, yes. There are toys for that and you need to talk about hard limits. Be open about the fears you have and also be open about the possibility of it growing into something more. If he’s not totally in love with you, that is the greater danger. If he’s entirely in love and committed, there is only pleasure to be had and heightened.

The key is talking to him about it. Discuss it at length. Watch how you approach it, be gentle in revealing your fears, sometimes it’s considered a great insult to hear your wife thinks you’ll run off with somebody. If you have reason to feel that way, remind him of that. I wouldn’t mind chatting more with you or him about it if you need to. But remind me who you are if you do so that I address it, I have so many chat boxes.

I hope that helped.

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8 Responses to Ask Lucian Anything (12-14)

  1. Kimie says:

    Wow what awesome questions today!! Great advice too!!

  2. Susan Bromberg says:

    I agree with Kimie. I enjoyed the questions and answers. Thank you all for sharing with us.

  3. Jan Wade says:

    Both great questions and answers! I love how you have define your mission so clearly!

  4. Mary Forster says:

    Great answers Lucian

  5. Mary Forster says:

    It cut half of my response off. The first question was mine – I think it’s important for others to hear from you what your message means. We all can help spread it and do it with pride but I know it means something when others hear it from you 🙂

  6. Glenda says:

    First I want to say that I absolutely love every one of your books. My question is when can we expect book 2 of Solomon and silences story.I hope I am not being annoying but I’m so worried for them.

  7. Elizabeth Smith says:

    A double submissive marriage is what we both naturally are. Before we recognized this. Now it all makes sense. We don’t want divoce. We love and respect each other but……there is nothing physical. Sexual. It is both of us. We don’t want that with each other anymore. Quarks!!

    • Two natural submissives is like the quiet version of two natural doms/dommes lol.

      This just means that a “communication” needs to happen where both agree to share the initiation of intimacy and how they’d like to explore. If done with due respect for one another’s sexual tastes, it can be as fun as planning the garden or remodeling.

      The most important thing to remember is that 2 submissives have to BRING it to the table or the intimacy will fall to the wayside as each one waits for the other to initiate. It should be both’s equal responsibility to work together to burn that fire. The fire must burn. It’s the life force of the marriage, even if it’s a low, slow, steady burn. It has to burn.

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  • Note:

    I usually refer to males as the more dominant and females as the more submissive. The intention is NOT to say that ALL relationships should fit that pattern. My relationship experience is with male dominant, female submissive arrangements and that is the only sort of relationship I have firsthand knowledge about.