Survivng Hell Series 1

  This is the first post in a series we’re doing about surviving bad relationships, whether it’s BDSM or vanilla.  The idea is if we can look at enough of these stories, maybe someone will spot the trend of abuse in their own before it gets truly bad, or recognize the signs and get out. There’s also a lot to be said for just getting it off your chest, and experiencing the mutual support of others who have been in similar situations. Aden posted on his Facebook asking for readers to share their stories. The response was an avalanche, some … Continue reading

Contracts & Negotiations 101

Contract. It’s one of the terms that gets tossed around a great deal when we’re talking about BDSM relationships. As we discuss BDSM, I think this is one of the basics we all need to understand. Knowing about negotiations and contracts can keep you out of a bad situation, or help you make your current relationship better. This series of blog posts is aimed toward giving us all a better understanding of contracts and negotiations as they apply to both vanilla and BDSM relationships, but other areas of life as well. Before you skip over, assuming this discussion has no … Continue reading

So You Want A Dom, Do You?

Class is back in session, ladies. Good morning. It’s been a few days since the last post, where we boosted morale in order to take the baby steps in our journey. So. Where are we going in this journey, anyway? So important to keep your eye on the goal. More important to know what your goal is. So, let’s assume that you ladies would like a Dom. A man that takes charge in the bedroom, grabs you by the hair, and unleashes the passion buried in his soul until you scream his name. A man that, with a word, a … Continue reading

Contracts and Negotiations

This is the first in a series of posts about contracts and negotiations between a Dominant and submissive. At the beginning of a D/s relationship, many people feel the need to lay out the exact expectations from each partner. Often known as a contract, this is a formal agreement about the roles each will fulfill. It is important to note that these contracts are NOT legally binding, but within the relationship the expectation is that both parties will honor the conditions. This type of contract can protect you, or it can be used against you. It’s up to you to … Continue reading

Vanilla BDSM 101 (Patience My Eager Butterflies)

Hello Sweet Stupid Monday. Okay fine, Tuesday. 🙂 You had lots to ponder over the weekend. So did I. I thought it was pretty heavy to digest in one dose and that elaborating on the various concepts covered might be a good idea. You can’t over prepare for this. It’s too important. Do you remember what this is? This is a war. Not in the traditional sense, of course, but in the sense that you and your familyare under attack by various factions. Past pains and hurts would like to hi-jack happiness right from your life and for many people, … Continue reading

Vanilla BDSM 101 Journey Prep

Good morning ladies. A few important things! (you know it’s important when I use an exclamation mark) I’d like to start class by saying I’m proud of you for even being here. It takes special people to realize things are broken and even more special to take the steps to fix them, paying no mind to who broke what in the first place. Why does it matter? The family is headed for the cliff, we can talk about that during “preventive maintenance”. But saying that, I want you all to know that sometimes the most heroic thing, is knowing when … Continue reading

Vanilla BDSM 101 (Beginning)

Welcome to your first class. First, I’d like to say that I woke up every day for the last week feeling the burden of this series of posts to come. How to present the ideas and concepts in a way that women will get. Really get. For one, I’m speaking to mass diversity. Not everything I will say will apply to all, and some of what I say, in fact, goes against the grain of people’s situations. And, I worry about that. So, let’s start off by you understanding a few things. One: I don’t have YOUR answers. Only you … Continue reading

Vanilla BDSM 101….coming soon

*Note: Not all advice given in this post will apply to everybody. Only the reader can determine what does apply or doesn’t.   “Ask yourself when was the last time you sacrificed who YOU are to allow someone else to be who THEY are.” I found the above at the end of one of the Dom Wars reviews and it really hit me. They get it. They see it. Keep telling them, it’s coming through. I have tried hard to convey what being a good Dom truly means. I feel some days that I’m fighting against a tidal wave of … Continue reading

  • Note:

    I usually refer to males as the more dominant and females as the more submissive. The intention is NOT to say that ALL relationships should fit that pattern. My relationship experience is with male dominant, female submissive arrangements and that is the only sort of relationship I have firsthand knowledge about.