For me, writing sex is a lot like a d/s relationship.
I am the Dom, the words are my subs, and the story is our “scene”
I know how to get what I want, and my subs know how to give it to me–contracts are established prior to this–but every scene comes with one unique dynamic–Me–the medium between story-world and sub.
My job is to dominate the subs and force them to my will. The scene always begins with lots of foreplay and slowly builds. I work the words in every position you can fathom until they give me the heat I demand, the scents I crave, the taste of sweat and the symphony of nasty sounds that make my body boil. If they don’t make me boil, nobody gets a climax.
Sometimes, I work the subs for thirty minutes to an hour, it depends. It might be just two paragraphs, but if it doesn’t have my clit clenching mark all over it–we don’t stop until it does.
My final seal of approval.
And that’s what goes into a sex scene for me.
(the d in d/s is lowercased to show powers are equal and leadership is but a gift of privilege)