Loving With Lucian (FIND IT AND DO IT)

loving with lucian

Hi ladies who are not single 🙂

I’m doing something new, and simple. It’s called “Let’s Play Nice”

You ever wonder over the power of one or more, small, good deeds? Well, let’s test it and find that out.

I want to do this “undercover” so, don’t tell your husband what you’re doing, just do it and record his responses in a journal.

What are you going to do? 

You’re going to bring healthy change to your relationship.

You’re going to forgive past wrongs

You’re going to take the first step

And you’re going to FIND something that means something to him… and you’re gonig to do it.

And why should you do that?

Because it is good and right to be the bigger person.

Because it is good and right to forgive and be merciful.

Because it’s good and right to improve your marriage.

Because it’s good and right for you to be an exmaple to the kids if you have them

Because it’s good and right to show an example to your husband as his help mate. 

It’s very important that you FOCUS on those reasons while you do this. You are not doing any of it for a particular response, you’re doing it because??? IT’S RIGHT AND GOOD. Your reward is in doing right and good, and that is what makes you feel good. Same feeling you get when you cook for your family, feed your children, your animals, wash their laundry, bathe them. It’s not for their reaction that you do it, it’s because it’s the right and good thing to do, and you take joy in that.

However, getting good responses from doing what is right and good, is certainly that added BONUS we desire from our wives and husbands. And we even need it. But we don’t want the reward to be the reason we do what we do.

And of course nobody likes ungrateful asses. If you get rude responses when doing right and good, we’ll discuss the proper way to “respond” rather than “react” to that.

Taking control of your life

Starting off intentionally on the right foot, with the right reasons. When we do that, we are much less likely to be blindsided with rogue emotions that end in repetitive trouble. You know your spouse/partner better than anybody. Keep in mind who they are. Then:

Plan your actions.

Anticipate reactions

Plan loving responses

In the following categories

Find what you know he likes, and write down ideas you can implement for one week. Remember, we’re undercover. Only tell him what you’re doing if it’s required, maybe for scheduling, and try not to make a big deal out of it if you must tell him. This isn’t about a “big show” that you want him to make a “big deal” over for your “big efforts”.

This is just you… loving him. And loving is right and good.


1. Maybe he has a favorite dish

2. Maybe he likes it when you set the table

3. Maybe he likes it when you clean the kitchen right after

4. Maybe it’s something I have no clue to think of but you know, lol

MOMMY (for those who are)

1. Maybe he likes to see you play with the kids

2. Maybe he likes to see you put him before the kids

3. Maybe he likes when you respect him in front of the kids

4. Maybe he likes when the kids are in bed on time


1. Maybe he likes to come home to a clean house (more than once a month lol)

2. Maybe he likes at least the dishes done

3. Maybe he likes the clothes in his drawers a certain way

4. Maybe he’s anal about how the closet looks

5. Maybe he’s got the job of taking out the trash but you know he’s often too tired to

(Plenty to come up with in this area I’m sure)


1. Maybe he wants you to take time for yourself

2. Maybe he’d like you to keep yourself up more

3. Maybe he’d like you to do someting personal that you keep putting off


1. Maybe he wants you to wear lingerie more

2. Maybe he likes a certain foreplay

3. Maybe he likes you to be more sexually aggressive/or submissive

4. Maybe he wants you to show you want him passionately

Another area I’m sure there are plenty of things to do. (However, don’t compromise your morals in this department. Ever. If you feel like it’s wrong, don’t do it just because he wants it. A lot of desires aren’t emotionally, physically, or mentally healthy to you or him, and giving in to them does NOT satisfy the urges, it FEEDS them and causes them to EVOLVE into a destructive force that can consume your marriage and family.)

If you have more ideas to add, feel free to. Come up with a plan of “Nice Play” for one week. And at the end of the week, let’s talk about the results. If he asks at some point “Why you’re doing this?” Just say, “Because I love you”

Keep it simple. And see what happens.

And PS. If you’re going to participate in our little FIRE STARTER plan, comment below so I can nag you. 🙂






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15 Responses to Loving With Lucian (FIND IT AND DO IT)

  1. Susan Bromberg says:

    I’m so in on this. Thank you for doing this for us all.

  2. Amanda Gutridge says:

    I’m in!! 🙂

  3. Jenny says:

    I’m in

  4. doris says:

    LETS BURN BABY! I’m so excited and this time of year is perfect to start this up. We have a great relationship but there’s always room for more 🙂 Thank you beloved!! I’m starting tonight!!!

  5. Tanya Norton says:

    Im so in on this! Thanks for the ideas! Nag away! Lol

  6. Linda Martin says:

    I am ready to do this!

  7. patricia Dupree says:

    This is going to be fun :-)! Thank you so much for all that you do!

  8. Mary Forster says:

    Awesomeness 🙂

  9. Maria S Brownfield says:

    I am willing to give it a go.

  10. Glenda Gregory says:

    I’m in! This will be much easier when we get our house finished and move out of the in-laws’ house, but I can be creative. I’ll figure something out while we are here 🙂

  11. Jan Kinder says:

    Totally in, ;0)

  12. Jan Wade says:

    All in.

  13. Pam says:

    I wanted to comment on this… I’m already doing this. About a year ago, I decided exactly what you explained above. There are things I could do to help keep my relationship happy. And let me tell you, it works great! Of course I still mess up at times, but I think in the last year my hubby and I have become even closer.

  14. Cathy Coffman says:

    I’m in

  15. Katey Kirkham says:

    Trying to read all your past posts. Sometimes the things you say make me stop and look at myself. Thank you Lucian you are a fabulous writer and relationship counsellor 😁😁

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  • Note:

    I usually refer to males as the more dominant and females as the more submissive. The intention is NOT to say that ALL relationships should fit that pattern. My relationship experience is with male dominant, female submissive arrangements and that is the only sort of relationship I have firsthand knowledge about.