Nan’s Story (part 2)
Sorry this is late, the “I”m swamped” still applies. As agreed, I said I would put the Patreon posts on the blog after I give it to Patreon supporters first. Remember, if you want to support me on Patreon, you can do so here. If you’ve not read Nan’s story part 1, you can get that here.
“Nan, have you tried talking to him?”
“Talking!” I gawked into the phone. “Tammy, Jack doesn’t know what talk is. If it’s not about his job or his pet projects, he’s nothing but smiles, farts, and grunts.”
“Oh, I know just what you mean,” Linda drawled in her sweet southern accent. “Bob’s like that.” We were doing that cool trick with the computer. Right from the Facebook, we all talked on the phone, it was like visiting in the same room just you couldn’t see. Call me old fashioned but I liked looking at my friends when I talked to them. I had to have faces to put with names. I knew what Tammy and Linda looked like but still, i had to see their gestures and stuff. You didn’t really know somebody till you saw how their bodies moved, it was like the signature of who they were.
“Shit,” Tammy muttered. “The signing is in a week. Maybe we can raise some money.”
“Lucian might help,” Linda said.
“No!” I hissed. “I”m not going to ask him to help pay for me to go see him at the book signing! I mean that’s retarded. And shameful. I’ll get the money,” I assured.
“Do tell,” Linda said, curious.
“Just borrow it from Jack,” Tammy cried. “Tell him you’ll pay him back with the money you’re gonna make.”
“What money am I making?” I wondered, confused.
“I don’t know!” Tammy said. “Think of something, you’re crafty. You can sell stuff on Ebay and pay him right back, I’m sure.”
Hope surged as I considered. “Oh my, I have so many wreaths!”
“Bingo,” Linda said. “Put me down for three. How much are you charging?”
“None for my friends,” I snapped, then sucked in a breath. “Maybe I can bring some to the signing.”
“I bet Lucian would buy one for Tara.”
“No!” I gasped. “I’m not selling him a wreath.”
“Lord, she’s gonna give all the damn wreaths,” Tammy muttered.
“You’re too giving for your own good Nan,” Linda agreed.
“Well, I’m sorry, it’s who I am. I like to give.”
“Well you need to be a taker right now,” Tammy reminded.
“Borrower,” Linda corrected.
Right. “Okay,” I said, thinking. “I can trim off some money from the bills that aren’t too dire. ”
“Just don’t let the life insurance lapse,” Tammy said. “He may have a heart attack while you’re gone then you’ll be shit up a creek.”
I gasped in horror at the idea while Linda howled in cackling laughter.
“I’m joking Nan,” Tammy said in giggles. “Lord woman, don’t you know me by now?”
Linda jumped into song. “If you don’t know me by now…”
“You will never never never know me,” Tammy finished, both of them breaking my ear drum with laughter.
Lord I loved them but I needed to think up real answers. “Oh, I can hold off on the gym payment,” I said. “That’s eighty dollars right there. And another hundred fifty for the house insurance. Oh,” I thought suddenly. “I can cancel all his stupid subscriptions to these magazines.”
“Don’t cancel!” Tammy said. “Just forget,. You are human and hormonal after all. Blame it on that shit that hits women late in life. What’s it called?”
“I can’t play like I have Alltimers,” I said incredulous.
“Not alltimers, nerd,” Tammy laughed. “Shit, what the hell’s it called?”
“Mid-life crisis?” Linda tried.
“This is definitely a crisis,” I agreed.
“Not a damn crisis,” Tammy shrilled. “Oh my God, I’m asking stupid google. What do you call the disease women get at around fifty years old?”
Didn’t she just ask me that? “I’m sorry, I can’t think of it.”
“Not you, I’m asking Google.”
“Menopause!” Linda yelled, like she was racing a clock.
“Yes! Mena-god-damn-pause,” Tammy muttered. “Tell him it’s your menapause.”
“Yes,” Linda agreed happily. “You can tell the therapist and she’ll be all on your side, trust me.”
“See, this therapy will pay off now. You can pretty much get away with murder and tell Jack you’re so happy he made you go, you really need it.”
“But I don’t need it,” I cried.
“Nan,” Tammy cried back. “We know that, work with us. We’re working angles here, woman.”
Right. “Okay so far I got how much?”
“Give me the totals,” Linda said, I”ll write em.”
I listed out the numbers and said, “What does that make me?”
“Uhhhh, brings you to Three hundred and seventy.”
“You could save some money and room with me and Linda.”
“No,” I hurried. “No offense but I have to have my privacy.”
“The bathroom’s got a damn door,” Tammy cried.
“It’s not like that,” I assured. “I’m not a morning person, for one.”
“Lordy have mercy, Linda, do you hear her?”
“I do. Honey, we’re married. We can take it.”
“With kids,” Tammy added. “If I can stay out of prison for this many years, I think I can manage a couple nights in Vegas with you two.”
I thought about that. I really didn’t want them to see my morning person. At all. “I’ll get the money and if I can’t, fine, I’ll room with the two of you.”
They both filled my ears with triumphant glee while I got to considering what all I could hock. I needed more thanjust enough money, I wanted to have fun. I wanted to treat my friends to a good time, show them how great I could be!
Wonder how much I could get for my engagement ring? Not like I ever wore it. And I could get it back. After I sell all my wreaths. Plus I could make more and sell those. Don’t know why I never thought to sell them before, this was a brilliant idea.People would love them. I bet I’ll sell all of them. Maybe I could even open a store. Give some of the proceeds to help Lucian. I could. Would be my own money, Jack wouldn’t be able to say nothing. I’d have a job. I’d be my own person, I’d get my stamina back.
“I gotta go,” I hurried, realizing the two of them were chatting away. “I have a lot of work to do. I’ll call you girls later.”
“Don’t forget to pay the necessary bills,” Linda reminded with light warning.
“Yes,” Tammy said before adding, “…although it would be funny if you forgot to pay the water bill or something.”
“That’s mean,” I cried over their laughter. “I may not like Jack, but that doesn’t mean I need to be an ass.”
“Oh Nan,” Tammy said sounding breathless. “This is why we love you so much. “You’re a frikn saint.”
Well that was taking it a bit far. I wasn’t perfect by a long shot, but I liked to try my best. Even if it was a real saints’ worst.
to be continued…….. soon….