How to Make the ABC’s Scream

There are maEROTIC WRITERS CHALLENGE IMAGEny erotic writers out there. Great ones, good ones, ehh ones, and please get off the stage ones.

Regardless of which of these you are–no doubt one of the great ones–you understand the erotic writers challenge. No other genre faces this challenge like the erotic writer and likely, only the erotic writer is aware of that.

The readers of erotic writers are aware of it, but in a negative way:

“For fucksake, they did not just call her pussy a flower.” (howls in laughter)

The male and female genitalia attribution is indisputably the funnest thing to read in and out of context–her flower, her pleasure patch, her love hole, her Eden, her thicket (scary brow quirk) these are just a very few. Fun/funny to read, but not fun/funny (okay maybe funny) to write. Which brings me to my challenge in a moment.

It’s the same thing for the male appendage:

“His staff, shaft, baby-maker, dong, wiener, rod, flesh arm…” there is a list, of course. There’s always a list on Google of such things.

So what’s the big deal? What’s the challenge?

Well, while you readers are laughing your asses off, consider our challenge to find names for the parts used the most in erotic writing. The challenge looks something like this:

Challenge #1 You have to guard against being redundant and when you’re writing a sex scene, it’s very easy to do that. It requires an acquired skill to avoid that, and unless I edit three or more times over those scenes, I am likely to break the redundant rule to the point of distraction. Yes, I’m saying you can be redundant if you don’t cross the line so that it’s noticeable. (I don’t always succeed but that is my intention)

“Why not just use cock, pussy, clit, tits, forever and ever, amen?”

Well, that’s actually okay to do if those are the terms your characters would use. Which brings me to …

Challenge #2  You cannot use words that don’t fit your character. If Betty Jean is a virgin from a hick town in West Virginia, then she will not likely call a male penis a “cock” therefore the writer is required to attribute the proper term to the man’s “mighty meat muscle” in a way that fits the character. Context comes into play in that. For instance, if she’s referring to a male she may not like, maybe she’d cross her customary lines and use terms like his “dirty dingaling” or his “crooked cockadoodle” (as you can see, even when Betty Jean crosses lines, she’s not really getting into cock territory, but in her mind, she is) In general, Betty Jean will likely use terms like “his thing” or “his pecker” or “his penis” maybe. It all depends on her upbringing, culture, and era she’s in. And after that, it depends on context.

So, how do you get around this? Not all characters say cock, pussy, clit, ass, tits, balls. Even if they did, you run the redundant risk within scenes that have a non-stop of both.

Not that it can’t be done. Take the scene below. I will highlight the above “common erotic” words, which I used for attribution because it fit my story, characters, and context in this moment. It didn’t always fit my hero’s character however, but the progression of his character and this particular scene, allowed me to color out of his character lines and have him use terms he never had before. And if you look closely, you will see his original character peeking through in various areas. And I allowed that in order to make this scene believable. It seemed logical that he would not be proficient with this sudden switch all at once.

Taken from the DARK MUSE RIDER

He retained hold of her hand while she knelt before him.

“Open your knees. And your eyes.”

Her lids fluttered open and Poe’s muscles locked in response to the lust in her gaze, all thousand degrees aimed at his cock. Divinities. Poe wrapped his hand at the base of his erection and squeezed. “You’re going to suck my cock, Contessant. Exactly how I tell you.”

She nodded quickly. “Yes, Rider,” she barely whispered, gaze on the thick head.

“You will not suck until I say.” His voice strained as he touched her lower lip with the tip, spreading a drop of desire over it. “Look at me, Contessant,” he ordered when her eyes rolled shut. “I want you to look right at me while my cock adores every inch of your beautiful face.”

The heat of her breaths blasting on him brought his hiss. He circled her lips with his cock until they were shining. “So beautiful.” He moved the head along her face with the most sacred and intimate part of himself, adoring every inch. A face he loved more than anything in all the realms.

Remembering his punishments, as well as the things in the story, he slid his fingers in her hair, slowly along her scalp. “I’m giving you one of your hard punishments now,” he said.

Her breaths shot out with tiny whimpers.

“You’ll suck my cock.” His fingers slowly closed into a fist in her hair as he teased at her lips now with the throbbing head. “Start with licking it, Contessant. Lick the very tip. Make me burn.”

Poe angled his head, his eyes hard on the rapid flicks of her tongue against the slit of his cock. He recalled how the man spoke in the story. “Fuck, Contessant.”

The way her breath’s shot out said she liked that very much.

“I want you to take your clit between your fingers,” he said in a near growl. “Suck the head between your lips, just your lips,” he instructed, bracing for the fire it would cause.

She took the tip of the head into her mouth and gave three hot pulls, the rough part of her tongue, stroking along the slit. He grit his teeth and hissed, tightening his fist in her hair. Her nostrils fluttered with her assault as did the tiny moans that sent fire into his balls. “So fucking naughty, Contessant,” he said, breathless. “Do you have your clit between your fingers?” By the harsh lines on her brows, she did.

“Do not squeeze it. Just hold it.” He pulled her head forward, sliding his cock slowly into her mouth. More heat spiked in his balls and forced his head back. Poe warred against the current taking him, clenching his eyes tight.

The moan she inflicted on his cock, the sharp press of her teeth, the wet sucking… divinities!  He finally got control and brought his head forward to stroke her face then trace her lips. “So tight around my cock,” he said.

She made tiny noises that said she wanted something. Before he could worry if he were hurting her, she raked her nails over his balls.

“Contessant,” he hissed. She was openly disobeying. He thought of how to punish right as she began forcing his cock in and out of her mouth. “Contessant,” he grit, holding her head still. She gave a naughty groan and reached behind him, placing her splayed fingers over his ass and sliding them down, touching between the crack as she made her way to his balls.

Poe shuddered, holding her head, fighting the war in his body to make her suck, make her keep going. He pulled his cock out of her mouth and reached for his neck tie only to have her attack him when he turned.

Her weight knocked him off balance and he fell on the bed with her where she wrestled to get her pussy on his cock.


Naughty Scribbler.

As you can see, I used all the standard terms I love using in my writing, mostly because those are my personally preferred choices, and also because the challenge to find other terms (that may qualify for the Guinness Book of Hilarious Genitalia Attribution–they should really have that) was not required of me in that scene.

But I am not always let off the hook so easily! MOST of the time, I am required to meet Challenge #2–finding the terms that that character would use in that scene.

For instance, I’m writing Sabre and Sally. Sabre is an angel who has never had sex in his life. He doesn’t even think about it and now he’s in a scene that he must think about it. I come to the point in my story where he is required to NAME the female genitalia and I pause and go, “shit …. wtf would he call it????” Vagina?(too clinical) Eden? (hell no) Womanhood? (doublehellno)

I very quickly come to the realization that he wouldn’t call it SHIT! Because he never even thinks about it. Before that, he never even allowed himself to utter it in his angelic mind. REAL problem here.

Challenge #2 ENGAGED motherfucker! Yes, I’ve had to learn to combine my dominant side with my creative and tackle the genitalia challenge thusly.

So, how did I solve that problem? Check it out:

Taken from my WIP, an erotic short Sabre & Sally (Still coming up with a title lol)

In this scene, Sabre, from another room, uses his angelic powers to control the air molecules around Sally in a very naughty way. I said he didn’t know anything about body parts and what not, but just before this scene, he’s been given a bit of information by Valentine (blood guardian and friend) but still, it’s all very new to him and I have to convey it that way:

Her moans became shorter and higher, her breaths faster. The fingers of air raced along, needing more of those sounds and remembering just how to get them. The air pressed at her inner thighs and pushed them apart. Sabre gripped his covers in both fists, relishing in the sounds she made just from him doing that. He carefully crawled those fingers toward the very place he’d not even allowed himself to utter in his mind. He’d read so many names for what he was about to touch. Her ache was the compromise at the moment. He gave a tentative stroke right on the tip of the tiny bud and Sabre growled when her fingers cover it. In a near jealous hunger, he pushed the air under her fingers then formed a hot and dense mass of air for penetration. He realized his brain had replicated his now hard phallus. He slid it along her entrance, softly testing. Alarm filled him at discovering how small she was there. Far too small. He reduced the dense air to the size of a finger, teasing around that entrance again.

“Sabre,” she gasped.

“Heavens,” he growled, plunging the small tendril of heat inside her until it met with that core he sought.

“Oh, oh God, yes,” she cried, her hips thrusting under his very naughty tricks.


Hahahaha, BOOM, how’s that for getting out of NAMING something!

Challenge #2 met and conquered. In THAT scene. What about all the rest coming? Is he to always refer to her privates as “that which he would not utter”? At some point he’ll have to name it. I can’t have him forever kissing, licking, sucking, and fucking that which he can’t even utter.

I can feel the weight of Challenge #2 for the rest of the story, and I”m not happy about it. My thought is … I would really like for Sabre to use the terms cock and pussy. Now, how do I get that in a believable way?

Check it out: (also from same story as above)

“And I’ve dreamed of this,” she whispered, moving her mouth down his body. “Your cock is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.”

His cock. Hearing her use that word, hearing it come from her sweet lips, drove him mad. “You dreamed of my cock?” he whispered, fire burning through his blood.

“Yes.” She sat before him and looked right at it. “And this,” she said, leaning in.

Sabre growled and latched both hands in her hair as she licked the very tip with a tiny moan.

“I wondered what Heaven tasted like,” she barely whispered, sliding her lips softly over the top with her eyes closed. She grabbed hold of the base in one hand and cupped his balls with the other.

“Sally,” he hissed. “God, suck it. I want you to suck my cock.”


And there you have it. I had her use it, which allowed him to fall in love with the term. Now he will use the word and it makes perfect sense that he does.

But what about her VAGINA!!!


Again, check it out:

She parted her thighs, revealing that delicate bundle of nerves he’d touched with his power. He placed a knee between her legs so she could open more, which she did. He looked slowly up her body, his cock jerking when he made it to her breasts. The beautiful sight of her in his bed had his power at reckless.

“You’re trembling,” she whispered.

Breathing through the pulsating waves inside him, he whispered back, “I’m on … the verge.” He eyed her breasts squeezed together.

“Of what?”

Of what. “Of losing my angelic mind,” he gasped, taking in her beauty again.

Her hands slowly lowered along her stomach until they touched that delicate spot between her legs. “Here,” she whispered, stroking herself. “Kiss my pussy, Sabre.”

Kiss my pussy, Sabre.

His mouth was there before he could think, giving in to the power commanding him to lick and suck without stop, to kiss her pussy until she screamed the way she had last night.

Kiss my pussy Sabre continued to burn itself into his being as she squirmed under his mouth–as he used his finger to reach that place inside her. His power nearly shot through the roof at entering her. She was hot, wet, and so very tight. And silky, God, she was silky. And that scent from last night and that morning, it was making him drunk, filling his nose and mouth as his finger stroked her.

Her nails went from digging into his skin to pulling his hair, driving his power higher until it heated his blood and tongue.

He pushed her leg open wide, and his mouth wider, sucking the silk as light tingled through his tongue and into her body.


So, I had HER teach him the P word! Not only did she teach it to him, she marked him forever more with it. The term pussy was now divine to him, sacred. *dusts hands with a smirk* at CHALLENGE #2 BITCH

As for all the non-erotic romance writers, well, they’ve got a plethora of terms to pick from when contriving names for the male and female genitalia. Challenge #1 and #2 are theirs, but not as intense since they write far less sex than the erotic romance writer does.

In conclusion to this article, you can see that Challenge #1 and #2 are probably not often considered by readers. Maybe. Maybe they do think about it, I don’t know. But it’s certainly something to consider when one reads and thinks how “easy” writing erotic romance would be. “How hard can it be to write about fucking?” Well, if you write about it once or twice in a book, maybe not so hard. But when you spend a lot of time on your sex scenes, say 2-4k words, around 6 times in EVERY story, you’re looking at serious CRAFT DEMANDS of the writer.

Some writers meet that challenge. Some don’t–not for lack of trying. And this creates those categories of Great, Good, Eh, and GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE, I BEG YOU!

But …. I feel their pain and readers will too now, hopefully. It’s a very real one, a challenging one, and one that is unique to the erotic romance genre. And I have only scratched the surface. It doesn’t cover the worn out sexyless turns of phrases, and cute pet names, and all that other shit required in the “romantic” side of this “fucking” business.

But, another day for that.



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9 Responses to How to Make the ABC’s Scream

  1. Tara Copsy says:

    Thanks for taking the time to explain the challenges. I’ll definitely stick with being the reader instead of the writer. You do it well.

  2. Nan says:

    I am sure the readers do notice and if it is not to their liking they would certainly let you know! I see a couple sides…in medicine I must use the proper names. Vagina, penis, breast
    But, I much prefer your terms.
    I will not continue on with a book that uses Stupid names” flower, love patch awwww…hurry the fuck up and give her your cock.
    (Lord, did I really write that?) I’m grown, I’m allowed even in public.
    Keep doing what you do Mr. Bane you have it already perfected!

  3. Juliette says:

    Thank you for being thoughtful to the reader, for giving us a better reading experience that minimizes unintended eye rolls 😉

    It is good to know that a writer thinks of these things rather than just type out the story without the thought of overuse and redundancy.

    I love your decision of making a teaching moment between Sally and Sabre – it’s realistic and the most believable scenario.

    Thanks for sharing your insights, and job well done!

  4. Billie low-blythe says:

    I don’t how you do it but you rock it every book you write it the sexual names you use always just fit right go you Mr Bane !!!! 😋😛😜😚

  5. ha ha oh I absolutely loved this!! The challenges are so very real! Thanks for a great write 🙂

  6. Lora Ann says:

    Definitely a challenge and you just NAILED it! ♡

  7. Nichole says:

    This may have been the best explanation of the challenges. Thank for the insight.

  8. Tammy Jackson says:

    Absolutely loved how you compared and explained the different sceneries/sex scenes!!! The Master Mind at his BEST!!! 😆

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  • Note:

    I usually refer to males as the more dominant and females as the more submissive. The intention is NOT to say that ALL relationships should fit that pattern. My relationship experience is with male dominant, female submissive arrangements and that is the only sort of relationship I have firsthand knowledge about.