Vanilla BDSM 101 Journey Prep

Vanilla BDSM

Good morning ladies. A few important things! (you know it’s important when I use an exclamation mark)

I’d like to start class by saying I’m proud of you for even being here. It takes special people to realize things are broken and even more special to take the steps to fix them, paying no mind to who broke what in the first place. Why does it matter? The family is headed for the cliff, we can talk about that during “preventive maintenance”. But saying that, I want you all to know that sometimes the most heroic thing, is knowing when you need outside help, when you need a surgeon yourself. For those of you who may be at that place, you’re bloody and battered, too tired to fight, please know that involving outside professional assistance is ALSO HEROIC.

Another important thing!

This is war. That means this may get bloody.  However, you are a soldier. But the question is, ARE YOU A SOLDIER? Soldiers get jobs done. Soldiers do what it takes. Soldiers gear up to fight. Soldiers are CONDITIONED to fight. So, ARE YOU A SOLDIER?

If you’re NOT, then now is a good time to get your combat boots on and lace those fuckers tight. Or, now is a good time to call in outside reinforcements. Whatever the case may be, the time of ACTION is now. Often times, the thing that determines the outcome of any fight/war/operation, is the SOLDIER or SURGEON. Are you prepared for the grueling hours it may take? Are you prepared to get shot at, take punches, and keep rolling? Did you eat your fucking Wheaties, sweetheart? Do you KNOW your enemy/problem? Are you READY?

SO GET READY!

Ever met a surgeon/soldier that didn’t have to be conditioned or trained? Would you want an untrained surgeon to operate on your son or daughter? An untrained soldier with a gun fighting at your side? Me either. I’m going to keep this operation simple, so don’t get alarmed. I’m not going to really ask you to perform anything that would require a degree, but it will require some basic skills and preparation. So, let’s talk about BASIC TRAINING.

Basic training will include things like:

a. Faith. (Also known as confidence that things will improve when you apply basic principals. Faith produces hope and will give you the energy to fight, the KNOWING that you will succeed.

b. Forgiveness. (An important tool that you WILL not survive without. If you don’t forgive your significant other for the wrongs done up to this point, and even forgive yourself for the things you regret, then save us all some time and take a swan dive off a cliff.  Forgiveness is a grenade. A scapel. It’s fucking oxygen, without it, you are toast. So, get on your knees, or wherever you like to get for that kind of thing, the gravel, the carpet, lying in the tub, whatever, and GET CLEAN. You can’t go into surgery dirty, you’ll contaminate everything. And you may even need to stop during battle and get clean AGAIN.

c. Courage. (Don’t be afraid. It may all be uphill, but that’s better than 1-6000 miles an hour down-hill into a cess-pool of acidic bat-shit that eats your soul and the soul of all those around you. You are going to fight, get over the fact that life isn’t always or ever fun or pretty, get over that you have to bust your ass to hold/put your family together. Get over it. Accept it. Embrace it. You knew from the beginning in that place that isn’t fooled that all those smiles and cherries had to be fucking planted, tended, they don’t just fall from the sky or ooze out of peoples’ pores.

 d. Wheaties. (Please, for fucksake, keep your body up. How the hell are you going to move your ass without gas? Fumes don’t count. Start exercising and eating right, no excuses, do what you can but do it. Find other women to unite with, I can’t think of ONE woman that doesn’t fight to some degree with that. We’re stronger in number for some things, and I’d say that’s one of them. Best thing is to unite with your SO with that, it is a good form of intimacy and bonding. Getting/being fit and healthy together. But be an encourager, a source of support, not a freak who keeps a weight scale in their pocket or chained around their neck. Be reasonable and realistic, let’s go for the Bronze first and work our way to the Gold.

 e. Like minded friends (Surround yourself with positive influence. I think you know what I mean. If talking to Suzie makes you want to plot your significant other’s murder, for fucksake, cut the ties.

 f. Endurance (You’re going to need this. Eating your Wheaties and keeping your health will supply a lot of this, as well as leaning on your friends. Because every day. Every single day, you will face the pressure. To go on…or give up. To half ass, or Dom/sub the fuck up. Don’t play with this. Be so very serious about it, every, single, day.

g. Love (yeah, load the fuck up on this stuff. Love is the salve that heals all wounds. The miracle medicine. If you think I’m kidding, try it. There is real POWER in love, a living, breathing FORCE that is released inside us. It frees us, empowers us, sustains us. I personally have to pray daily for that shit. 🙂 I have to use it a lot on myself, because if I can’t love myself, how can I really love others with a proper balance? And don’t think love always means doing the shit that feels good, no, sometimes it means cutting off fingers.

 h. Understanding (Get in their shoes. Understanding why people do what they do makes it that much easier to know how to help them. ASK QUESITONS. Find out. Leave no question unanswered. Be a gentle, loving, nag, lol. That just means you don’t rest until you have the answers to figure/incorporate a solution. And by God, don’t ignore the little things, because all big things start out little.

i. Patience (You don’t ever usually win a war in a day. A battle maybe, but a war is ongoing. Even if you solve problems, people grow and change. Sometimes in good ways, other times bad. This means you will be ever vigilante and watchful over your house. Your family. Your home. You stop things before they have the chance to get started. And you ACCEPT that role as an honor, a privilege. Not a job, not work. This is what you were created for, this right here. To KEEP your family. Do it with all your might.

  j. Lots of prayer (if you’re a praying person, you will need lots of this. Ask for it from others even, you can’t have too much of this unique condiment. Pray out loud if not to just vent! God doesn’t mind, he hears it whether you speak it out loud or not. And there is something about speaking it out loud that releases either negative or positive energy. I tend to think this is one of the practical reasons why God requires confession of sins. It doesn’t say it has to be only OUR sins, we can confess other sins committed against us as well. Doing so frees us from the negative power/energy it creates inside us.  But when you confess, confess with a purpose. If you confess with the purpose to be free of it, then do your business and let it go. Don’t let that shit linger in the air around you, get it out and away, then fill up the empty spaces with good things. Focus, dwell, THINK on good things. Bad things will eat up all your Wheaties until you’re nothing but an angry monster like those who hurt you.

Go forth and thinketh on all these fan-fucking-tastic things!

I think that is enough for today. I need you to really soak in the above list for a while. Over the weekend. Preparation on every level is a huge must. Some of you are in for rough roads. But with the right help, we can get you where you want to go. But it’s all important for you to be prepared for this to be a bumpy ride as you break down barriers and build solid foundations. As you take control over yourself, your family, and your life.

Lucian

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18 Responses to Vanilla BDSM 101 Journey Prep

  1. Lorraine says:

    Wow. Just freaking wow. Going to continue to reread this weekend to absorb it all. Thank you for sharing your insight.

  2. Katrina says:

    🙂

  3. Artavie says:

    Thank You ! That’s all I can say right now. This is a repeat read.

  4. angi says:

    Fantastic books u keep going boy woo who team Sir lucian bane ; )

  5. Lori says:

    Fan-fucking-tactic indeed! Lots to think about from this lesson. Thank you Lucian for your words of wisdom!

  6. Tammy Jackson says:

    That was just amazing Lucian. I soooo look forward to reading your posts/blogs because they are VERY insightful and help to give TONS of confidence and advice to those of us who need it. You are just AMAZING with your words!! 😉

  7. Amy says:

    Lucian I do believe u r either psychic or just that good.. I’m in need of these today.. If ever I needed help it is right now in this moment… cause without I think 12 yrs of marriage might be over. I am going to study each and every note and figure how to use it.

  8. Sheryl Rhodes says:

    Great insight!

  9. SaDiablo says:

    “Bad things will eat up all your Wheaties until you’re nothing but an angry monster like those who hurt you.”

    Genius! Pure genius. *quiet applause*

  10. Kim says:

    I want to say thank you for taking time out of your life to help us that need the courage to make the right steps in our relationships. You are giving me a lot to think about. I have been married for 19 years and there are times that I wanted to quit and just walk away. I have been interested in this lifestyle for awhile, but my partner is totally against it. I am hoping that with your insight we can find a happy medium and continue on. Thank you again and I am looking forward to this.
    Kim

  11. Jennifer says:

    Wow…..all I can say is, Thank you, this was very inspiring 🙂

  12. Michelle O'Neill says:

    Wow, you are the ultimate dom, thank you for all your helpfulness. I will try to maintain all except the wheaties but I will eat granola another healthy item.

  13. Barb says:

    There’s definately a great deal to know about this subject.
    I really like all the points you made.

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  • Note:

    I usually refer to males as the more dominant and females as the more submissive. The intention is NOT to say that ALL relationships should fit that pattern. My relationship experience is with male dominant, female submissive arrangements and that is the only sort of relationship I have firsthand knowledge about.