Wednesday Journaling (Agitated)

lucian's journal

The power of the pen lies within the heart of the writer.

That’s what I heard in my head when I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed.

It’s always the profound shit when I’m agitated. Yes, I’m agitated. But thankfully I learned to be careful not to let my agitation direct my day, only I forgot how that worked and snapped at my wife like a fucking dick.

I could sit here and think of all the reasons why I’m agitated but none of them warrant taking it out on her. I’m pissed over valid reasons, sure, but am I really going to want her to quit her job and stay home with me so the gigantic child-man can have his wifey security blanket?  That’s the one downfall of freely giving yourself to be owned by another, your ass is so owned, it takes the sense of control you think you have and dangles it before you with an evil grin all while your mind, muscles, and tongue choreograph The Stupid Dance.

I’ve already apologized ten times but until I get to slather it on in every manner with all that I am, I’ll be a wretched, miserable bastard. And that makes the world around me a very unsafe place.

Thank fuck she’s a forgiving person is all I can say. She acts like it’s no big deal but I know it is. She can take a lot of people being a dick to her, but not me. NOT fucking me, and that’s the part that makes me want to go psycho-gorrilla-ninja with my little metal drinking cup in a spinning-round-house of fury, right on the faces of certain “people”.

Hide the fucking coffee pot.

Today is the day I sit in the corner and do a poor job ignoring the douchepops and cum-twats blooming in the cuntree outside my window. Let it fester, I say. Eventually Lucian, they will all explode from the rotten and fermenting pulp beneath their tough skins.

I’m re-aligning the stars. And it’s only fair that I give an update to the HorrorScope. All halo humpers should twerk with extreme caution today. I’m just thinking there might be a giant red horn waiting to be shoved up your ass when you come gyrating my way.

Also, bringing up the “spirit of the season” to me today could be hazardous to all facets of your health. It’s Wednesday, December 10 motherfuckers and I have plenty of time to get my wings on. Until then, I’m pretty sure I’ll likely use the halo in ways that will leave you with an awkward limp for the rest of your life.

In other sadistic news, I’m 5k words into White Knight Dom Academy and my agitation is coming through. It opens with a killer sex scene and ends with a killer sex scene. And already I’m wanting another knock-down-drag-out orgasmic sweaty work-out. It’s fucking chapter two! I think it’s time for a very long weekend alone with my wife or I’ll be writing erotic horror sooner than I think.

“How to channel your rage through sex without killing your wife” That’s the teaching I sense coming on.

Sigh.

I think I’m done journaling for now. Have a wonderful fucking day my dear friends.

Lucian

 

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12 Responses to Wednesday Journaling (Agitated)

  1. Jenny says:

    Hope your day gets better Lucian! We all have those days and they suck!

  2. doris says:

    I’m so glad your beloved Bride has patience for you. It’s so hard to be on the receiving end of agitated bullshit. But that’s what we sign up for with our beloveds. We agree to dump on them and they do on us and then we build a bridge and get over it TOGETHER! I too am guilty of wanting his time all to myself, fuck his job LOL well it pays so little to be a public servant anyhow so it’s hardly worth risking your life anymore these days LOL Hang in there brother. This too shall pass. And I vote for the long time away with your bride. It will do both your souls some good. If for no other reason than fuel and ideas for major sexy romps to come (or cum) in your future works. Hold your head up kiddo. This too shall pass away and what’s left is a bride who loves you more than her own heartbeat. Xoxo

    • lucian.bane.author@gmail.com says:

      thank you for that. For what it’s worth, thank your husband for me for his service. I value it greatly and always vote for their raises.

  3. Donna says:

    Not gonna offer platitudes as I also wake to randomly agitated moods and have to talk myself out of them. I know I can have a better day…no matter who I have to kill 🙂 Appreciate your wonderful wife, love like you two seem to have built will survive your bad mood 🙂

  4. Jan Kinder says:

    Hey Mr. Man I’m around if you need to kick and scream and shout to the heavens. Take some time and remember WHO you are sweetheart. Tara kick him in the ass ;0) <3 to you both.

  5. Elena says:

    Sorry about your day but the silver lining is that it’s just one day and tomorrow is a new day. Hope the rest of your day goes better.

  6. Mary Forster says:

    Hope your day has gotten better Lucian. I’m sorry that you have to go thru all that. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for you. It’s good that your wife is forgiving and understands you – I know it sucks when the one person you don’t mean to do that to – you do it and you feel so horrible. I do it to my hubs sometimes and man do I hate it. Keep your head up and try not to let anyone get to you. Good to hear about how far you are on WKDA but damn you must be writing some pretty hot steamy intense scenes 🙂 Take your wife on a weekend getaway, I’m sure you both can use it 🙂

  7. angela peters says:

    Perhaps you could take some of your own advice and write her a little love letter, or put some hidden sticky notes around the house.

  8. syrina says:

    We can’t all be a ray of fucking sunshine every day Lucian, you need a vacation with your huni, RIGHT NOW!
    That’s a fantastic idea Angela Peters! <3 it. =)

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  • Note:

    I usually refer to males as the more dominant and females as the more submissive. The intention is NOT to say that ALL relationships should fit that pattern. My relationship experience is with male dominant, female submissive arrangements and that is the only sort of relationship I have firsthand knowledge about.